Don't Ever Date A Vegan. Marty Pollio

Dry Bar Comedy
1 800 Դիտումներ 47հզր
Կատակերգություն

Don't Ever Date A Vegan, or at least thats what Marty Pollio will tell you in this clip from his full Dry Bar Comedy special. Whether you're someone who likes to eat meat, or someone who just prefers to just eat vegetables this hilarious clip from Marty Pollio will explain his entire experience of being with someone who is vegan and is sure to keep you laughing from start to finish.

Watch Marty Pollio's full special by subscribing to Dry Bar Comedy +
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Մեկնաբանություններ

  1. Sharon Wilkes
    Sharon Wilkes
    10 օր առաջ

    That clip seemed to be more about the bald jokes than the story of dating a vegan.... Still funny though. Maybe it needs a different caption....

  2. Kristen Marie
    Kristen Marie
    25 օր առաջ

    😂🤣😂

  3. rmt mller
    rmt mller
    28 օր առաջ

    NO fish either and use Rogaine.

  4. BigPoppa
    BigPoppa
    Ամիս առաջ

    That laugh at 1:17 made my day 🤣

  5. Geoff Smith
    Geoff Smith
    Ամիս առաջ

    Love this guy. One of the funnier comedians on Dry Bar.

  6. Christopher Beddoe
    Christopher Beddoe
    Ամիս առաջ

    Yep. Vegan / vegetarian would be a deal breaker. 🐮🥩😋

    1. R M BLAKE
      R M BLAKE
      29 օր առաջ

      Chris...I'm neither vegan or vegetarian, I love meat. However, 7 years ago I had a health issue where I could eat very little meat without having issues But I certainly kept up my protein and fat requirements by eating cheese, milk, eggs, along side all of the veggies and fruits. I don't understand how any LIVE person can eliminate ALL animal products from their diets unless they have a rare medical issue and HAVE to. So I hope you would give someone a chance based on their unique circumstances, You MAY miss out on someone fabulous. Also, I don't really care what anyone wants to eat (or not), but I have an issue with the ones that make their diet a "religion" and try to force/guilt others into their way of thinking and eating. THAT is a deal-breaker for me.

  7. Kevin A
    Kevin A
    Ամիս առաջ

    I'm vegan. Thought it was funny. If I ate meat, I would look like him 😂😂

  8. Holt Sanders
    Holt Sanders
    Ամիս առաջ

    this guy's funny

  9. Proton Neutron
    Proton Neutron
    Ամիս առաջ

    Who would ever willingly date someone who is batsh1t crazy?

  10. Magic 80just
    Magic 80just
    Ամիս առաջ

    He killed

  11. Tom Foster
    Tom Foster
    Ամիս առաջ

    Best, when going on a date with a vegan, to go naked, and explain that you are trying not only to save the enviroment, but clothing has so many unhealthy processes that effect the planet, and carry a stick of celery. Some real knob heads with so much baggage they should be charged in life for excess weight

  12. Andreas
    Andreas
    Ամիս առաջ

    This is pure logic. Never date mentally ill people untill they get help,.

    1. Andreas
      Andreas
      Ամիս առաջ

      @karmuppet HAHAHAHA! Muppet! Animals was literally made for us to eat. If they weren't they wouldn't taste good.

  13. ChipArgyle
    ChipArgyle
    Ամիս առաջ

    "I don't like to be preached to." Immediately references God's actions. smh

    1. ChipArgyle
      ChipArgyle
      29 օր առաջ

      @R M BLAKE 1st of all, I said "chances are", which is not a full assumption that he attends church. 2ndly it's exactly as I stated. Saying you don't like to be preached to and then immediately referencing God, from a comedic standpoint, is either horrible writing or a sloppy / botched delivery. This was all really obvious, by the way. Did you do well in school?

    2. R M BLAKE
      R M BLAKE
      29 օր առաջ

      @ChipArgyle 1st of all you are assuming he attends church. 2ndly, what does that matter to anything in a comedians ability or professionalism?

    3. ChipArgyle
      ChipArgyle
      Ամիս առաջ

      @Busola A Chances are he attends church. Need I go on?

    4. Busola A
      Busola A
      Ամիս առաջ

      How does the reference equal preaching?

  14. Dakalia Johnson
    Dakalia Johnson
    Ամիս առաջ

    This little clip was good. I would love to see the full set!!

  15. Fabio Chaves
    Fabio Chaves
    Ամիս առաջ

    U r so strong eating meat. I see.

    1. nyx
      nyx
      Ամիս առաջ

      triggered lol

  16. Granjacia
    Granjacia
    Ամիս առաջ

    "they didnt eat milk" :/

  17. Cynthia Tingler
    Cynthia Tingler
    Ամիս առաջ

    Can we spell FUNNY!!!

  18. owl studios
    owl studios
    Ամիս առաջ

    As a vegan dude just shut the f up and keep that to yourself and I don’t see where I asked for your opion have a nice day🤪

  19. Lida Thorn
    Lida Thorn
    Ամիս առաջ

    Hilarious but this clip is about him being bald not about dating vegans

    1. R M BLAKE
      R M BLAKE
      29 օր առաջ

      The comedian doesn't choose the title of the clip...

  20. Gardyloo
    Gardyloo
    Ամիս առաջ

    Stock jokes from 30 years ago.

  21. Maria Lujan Felscher
    Maria Lujan Felscher
    Ամիս առաջ

    Would be nice to find a comedian that wasn't completely self absorbed. 🤔And has stupid things to say about people choosing compassion over their taste buds..... good on ya mate 👎👎👎

  22. equanimousawareness
    equanimousawareness
    Ամիս առաջ

    TROJAN SHIPP CONTAINERS. Picture if you will, containers on ships, converted into luxury apartments, or just basic military baracks, parked at all us ports, full of Chinese and/ or Russian military folks.... TROJAN SHIPPING CONTAINERS

  23. damn right
    damn right
    Ամիս առաջ

    He made it into the top 10 worst drybar comedians!

  24. DanarT_T
    DanarT_T
    Ամիս առաջ

    Omg thank u so much! U sir. Have made my day

  25. Manasa Vuibau Batiwale
    Manasa Vuibau Batiwale
    Ամիս առաջ

    Makes your hair fall out 😂😂😂😂😂😂 The cut to his head 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  26. Rainmaker Amadeus
    Rainmaker Amadeus
    Ամիս առաջ

    I guess he refuses to hear the screaming slaughterhouse videos. He stole the joke about "too weak to raise their arms". Vegans are stronger.

  27. D J
    D J
    Ամիս առաջ

    B12 vegans. Take your B12 vegans than you can move your arms and stay out of the emergency rooms.

  28. Terri Drollinger
    Terri Drollinger
    Ամիս առաջ

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  29. E K Daufin
    E K Daufin
    Ամիս առաջ

    Too weak to raise their arms 😂💪🏾

  30. Big Daddy Diesel
    Big Daddy Diesel
    Ամիս առաջ

    This was more about being bald than why you shouldn't date a vegan. Did he even say why you shouldn't date a vegan??

    1. Misfit Toy Tower
      Misfit Toy Tower
      27 օր առաջ

      @Granjacia Hahahaha!!! Nice! 😂

    2. Granjacia
      Granjacia
      Ամիս առաջ

      does he need to? :)

  31. Dixieboy 568
    Dixieboy 568
    Ամիս առաջ

    Great stuff. loved all of it. Super laffs. Hes clever and quick. Thanks. I liked this set alot

  32. Speed TheStreamer
    Speed TheStreamer
    Ամիս առաջ

    funny guy! and i love the shirt

  33. Apex Herbivore
    Apex Herbivore
    Ամիս առաջ

    Old jokes. "Why are they made of beef?" Seriously? Did they add the laugh track?

    1. R M BLAKE
      R M BLAKE
      29 օր առաջ

      @Reaper Kollyns For validating my other comment, Marty has been "in the business" for over 30 years. He appeared regularly on the Tonight Show with both Johnny Carson & Jay Leno & made personal appearances with many famous musicians & comics like Robin Williams, Jerry Lewis, & Billy Crystal. Appeared also on "Night Court" and other funny TV shows. Pretty sure through the years, younger & newer comics have used Marty's original material in their sets.

    2. R M BLAKE
      R M BLAKE
      29 օր առաջ

      @Reaper Kollyns This comedian is "vintage"; he's been around for awhile. Maybe he's using HIS OWN old jokes? Maybe you've heard others who stole HIS jokes? I don't know that for sure in Marty's case or which jokes you were referring to, but I have heard comedians who have been accused in the Comment section of "stealing" others jokes...when I knew in fact they were using their own material. Since I've been around many, many decades, I do have some reference point of this opinion. I've def heard younger comics using dead comic material.

    3. Reaper Kollyns
      Reaper Kollyns
      Ամիս առաջ

      It was odd to hear a DB comedian used vintage jokes. Usually, they are pretty original.

  34. Robert Schwartz
    Robert Schwartz
    Ամիս առաջ

    Excellent!

  35. jon f. mcdropout
    jon f. mcdropout
    Ամիս առաջ

    1997 called. it would like it's popular jokes back.

  36. Kavannah Light
    Kavannah Light
    Ամիս առաջ

    I really laughed hard in those few minutes, LOVED IT.

  37. MomentsInTrading
    MomentsInTrading
    Ամիս առաջ

    I loved the guy in the back laughing at the bald jokes 😂

  38. George Lucas
    George Lucas
    Ամիս առաջ

    Awesome!!

  39. Joses Tirtabudi
    Joses Tirtabudi
    Ամիս առաջ

    17th

    1. Grumpy Old Guy
      Grumpy Old Guy
      Ամիս առաջ

      That just means that there are fifteen other losers ahead of you.

  40. Johnson Family Vids & Vlog's
    Johnson Family Vids & Vlog's
    Ամիս առաջ

    MANAGE TO HANG ON TO YOUR DANDRUFF😂🤣😂

  41. Rod Hume
    Rod Hume
    Ամիս առաջ

    Yah, I woke up to tofu-bacon...

    1. Jerry Brooks
      Jerry Brooks
      Ամիս առաջ

      What a depressing way to start the day.

  42. Burke Hamblin
    Burke Hamblin
    Ամիս առաջ

    This guy's been around a long time! Love his exasperated deadpan delivery.

    1. R M BLAKE
      R M BLAKE
      29 օր առաջ

      Yes, he used to appear on the Tonight Show with both Johnny Carson & Jay Leno & made personal appearances with a lot of famous musicians & comics like Robin Williams, Jerry Lewis, & Billy Crystal. Appeared regularly in "Night Court" and other TV shows.

  43. Major Old Lady aka, Mom
    Major Old Lady aka, Mom
    Ամիս առաջ

    Need the full set, DB... Pretty please? ⚘

  44. Joe Biden s.u.c.k.s.
    Joe Biden s.u.c.k.s.
    Ամիս առաջ

    Joe Biden makes the vegan do a meet-and-greet. Let's go Brandon.

  45. singletree44
    singletree44
    Ամիս առաջ

    While I was in college I dated a red headed vegan. (once) I have not been more terrified in my life since and I am now 77

  46. LBingham OSULA
    LBingham OSULA
    Ամիս առաջ

    Blessings to all!

  47. Flyjayron
    Flyjayron
    Ամիս առաջ

    Imagine dating a vegan 😂

    1. monikag1323
      monikag1323
      Ամիս առաջ

      @Maria Lujan Felscher there's always one of you, isn't there? And for the record, dogs are omnivores.

    2. Maria Lujan Felscher
      Maria Lujan Felscher
      Ամիս առաջ

      Imagine dating a carnivore.... an animal that eats flesh. a flesh-eating mammal of the order Carnivora, comprising the dogs, cats, bears, seals, and weasels. No thanks, I'll date a vegan any day 👍💛🤣waaaay better!!

  48. Triggerhappy Ranch
    Triggerhappy Ranch
    Ամիս առաջ

    When in doubt, I add butter.

  49. Blue eyes
    Blue eyes
    Ամիս առաջ

    Been vegan 40 years. Marty speaks💯 truth❣ 😂

    1. the Best
      the Best
      Ամիս առաջ

      @CDT Pal Eat a lot of Indian stuff, they got a lot of variety.

    2. damn right
      damn right
      Ամիս առաջ

      I bet you don't had a strict vegan diet for 40 years, I call BS

    3. CDT Pal
      CDT Pal
      Ամիս առաջ

      How have you been vegan that long? WHat are your eating patterns like? Genuinely curious, if you don't mind sharing!

    4. Apex Herbivore
      Apex Herbivore
      Ամիս առաջ

      100%?? You're too weak to raise your arm?

    5. MomentsInTrading
      MomentsInTrading
      Ամիս առաջ

      I’ve been vegan 18 years.

  50. bluebell crushed velvet
    bluebell crushed velvet
    Ամիս առաջ

    Is he supposed to be funny?? Coz I barely did. Just mildly amusing!! Something about he's delivery that is just whack!! Flat on its face.

  51. Humboldt Life 707
    Humboldt Life 707
    Ամիս առաջ

    funny guy!! looking forward to more!

  52. Seemingly Obvious
    Seemingly Obvious
    Ամիս առաջ

    Fourth

    1. mesa louis
      mesa louis
      23 օր առաջ

      @Seemingly Obvious 🤣👍🏾

    2. Seemingly Obvious
      Seemingly Obvious
      23 օր առաջ

      Not really a challenge but a seemingly good way to start a discussion 😁 jk

    3. mesa louis
      mesa louis
      Ամիս առաջ

      @Grumpy Old Guy no, you had all night. Some of us work for a living. 🤷🏾‍♀️

    4. Grumpy Old Guy
      Grumpy Old Guy
      Ամիս առաջ

      @mesa louis A "mom's basement" joke??? Really??? You had all night and that's all you could come up with? That's beyond lame.

    5. mesa louis
      mesa louis
      Ամիս առաջ

      @Grumpy Old Guy how’s your mom’s basement? 🤣

  53. J T
    J T
    Ամիս առաջ

    Dated a vegitarian. We always argued if I remember correctly. Might have been a good life. 😐

  54. Sunshine Dayz
    Sunshine Dayz
    Ամիս առաջ

    Funny!

  55. Mike Fifer
    Mike Fifer
    Ամիս առաջ

    Love Ya Marty !!!

  56. mezra42
    mezra42
    Ամիս առաջ

    First

    1. Grumpy Old Guy
      Grumpy Old Guy
      Ամիս առաջ

      First grade? That's probably about your level of intelligence, since you seem to think anyone actually gives a crap if your first, or 10th, or 100th.